#���character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS
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httpskuzuu · 2 days ago
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Fault
i wrote this while watching apocalipsisminecraft :D
Anyway, I'm not very good at writing dialogues, so I hope it's okay
Yandere!Dazai x Reader
English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes
summary: you deal with the silent treatment after an argument.
tw: angst¿, toxic relationship, manipulation
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The silence is simply punishing, it always was. Your body was intact, balled up on your bed, but your mind wasn't as lucky. The silent treatment was a problem, one that hurt more than you'd like to admit, but your still-wet cheeks gave you away.
It hurt you that Dazai ignored you. You had tried to distract yourself in a thousand ways these days: you went out with your friends (the few you had left), spent the days away from home, concentrated on your hobbies. Nothing seemed to work, it's as if Dazai had planted a seed in your psyche that keeps growing and growing, every day his silence was getting worse.
You can't win an argument because this is what happens, talking or complaining about Osamu's toxic behavior would only ensure you that wordless jail. You had every right to complain! Because of him you lost many friends, he distanced you from them in a way that made you only realize it when it was too late, after you had already cut the total bond with them and they didn't want to see you again.
You don't blame them either, if a friend had a toxic boyfriend and ignored you for him all day, not letting help them, you would be angry too. They have been very patient because they know the details of your life with Dazai well, but everyone has limits.
Now you are alone, even Dazai doesn't seem to love you.
You try to hold back your tears at that thought, but it is impossible, you can only cover your mouth with your hand to hide your sobs. That's one of the things you had tried to avoid, if Dazai really loved you he wouldn't do this to you.
He knows of your suffering and yet he continues to treat you as if you were a ghost, you can't help but doubt his feelings for you. You think that maybe you are just a sadistic desire of his, that he only wants to pretend to love you and then leave you abandoned like a toy. Yes, you are just that, his toy.
There's not much to complain about either, you're aware of your situation and yet here you are, by his side. It's not that you wouldn't have tried to leave him, you did once, but he came back to beg your forgiveness and you simply couldn't refuse. You become weak with just one look from him.
And that cycle was always repeating itself. Whenever there was a fight big enough to overshadow your love for Osamu, he was the one who apologized. You wished it was like that this time too, but it's not.
Know what, fuck it, who needs friends anyway? You need Dazai, it hurts not being together with him. It eats you up inside with anger and shame for letting yourself fall for his manipulation, but what else are you going to do? You're not going to keep crying in bed until you fall asleep.
You head towards the living room where you know for sure that Dazai is, watching TV. He doesn't even turn to look at you even though you are sure he heard your footsteps.
“Osamu.” Saying his name is a mixture of pain and love that infiltrates your brain. Sometimes you wish you had never met him, but you think better of it when you remember that he is the only one who loves you. Who else could love you with your attitude?
He still does not respond and a look of sadness invades you, you try to remove it, but it comes back each time. Finally you give up, Dazai already knows how weak and useless you are and knows well your character, so you allow yourself to cry.
You don't hesitate to lie on his body and hug him while you try to form a sentence, any sentence, but only incoherent sobs come out.
You don't see Osamu's reaction, you just wish he was as affected as you are. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the crown of your head lovingly. You missed him so much, you don't even know how you managed to survive these days without his love and touch. “What is it, Belladonna?”
You press your face against his chest as shame clutches tightly at your throat. He mocks you even your current state and that is like a stab in the heart, you feel the pain in every detail.
“You hate me, you hate me.” Stifled meaningless sobs come out of your mouth, but still Osamu manages to hear them.
“And why would you say such a stupid thing?”
“You were ignoring me! If you really loved me you wouldn't do that.”
“So now I'm the bad guy.” His tone of voice changes to a more distant one and his hug loses strength. In response you can only hug him tighter, afraid that, if you loosen his arms a little, he will leave you alone again. “You didn't try to talk to me either.”
You raise your gaze, an indignant one, which is accompanied by furrowed eyebrows. You want to look annoyed, but you just look pathetic.
“That's because you always do the same thing! We fight and you stop talking to me!” Pain trickles through your words, but Dazai doesn't seem to care enough to comfort you. “What am I going to humiliate myself for when I know you're going to ignore me?”
"Oh, poor little Belladonna, always the victim of the story." His condescending voice makes you feel like an idiot, you come to think that you really are. "Didn't you ever think I just needed space? Come on, you're so clingy and I was just trying to protect you from getting hurt.”
Seeing your puzzled expression, he can only laugh.
“Well of course you haven't thought about it. That cute little head of yours is good for nothing but victimization.”
“I- I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt this way...” Your voice trembles and his words linger in your mind. Maybe it's all your fault after all, you've never tried to put yourself in the opposite shoes and that makes you feel like the biggest useless.
The award for the worst partner in the world should be given to you, you think.
Dazai has no reaction at first, looking at you with those cold eyes, but they soften after a few seconds. He can't resist you after all.
Osamu's warm arms squeeze you again, you almost cry with joy thanks to how nice it feels to be held like that.
"It's okay, my sweet." Osamu ends up whispering near your ear, which sends a pleasurable shiver throughout your body. “Let me show you how much I love you now.”
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and if I make a second part nsfw? 👀
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turtlespancake · 4 months ago
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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onyourowndaisymae · 1 year ago
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don't mind me... just thinking about the demon brothers slowly dropping the rest of their roster for you as they fall head over heels...
lucifer // mammon // levi // satan (you are here) // asmo // beel // belphie -- others coming soon, NSFW warning below, gn!reader
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satan, who doesn't care much about the exchange program, anyway. he's quite content to keep to himself. he's got his books and his quiet, so don't come bringing you or his boisterous siblings anywhere near his room. he's perfectly content listening in on the occasional loud conversation that echoes down the hall, or the bickering at dinner, or the trail of his brothers toddling off after you on the way to school. it's... interesting, he supposes. but he won't let himself get too invested.
satan, who reads a lot of romance books. he has hundreds of stories detailing the greatest loves of all time. fleeting eye contact from across the room, hands brushing against one another, secret smiles to each other and no one else... he's read it all before. he knows the way a love story shakes out every time. there's a predictability to it that he finds comforting. so how does he miss it? how does he not notice himself following that same storyline? can't he feel the way his cheeks flush when you say something sweet, or how his heart rattles in his ribcage when you smile? poor thing won't realize he's smitten until it's far too late. he'll look up from his book to see you one day and realize he can't untangle the main character's confused infatuation from his own.
satan, who has a lot of connections. thus, a lot of people know who he is, and it's not an overstatement to say that a lot of people lust after him. he's always very clear that he's not interested in anything long term, but once in a blue moon his desires get the best of him and he indulges someone. he's got the demon underneath him bent over, arms pinned against their back, silent domination with each steady, deep thrust. no matter how they try rile him up, he won't let them see him lose control. he's quiet, occasional groans and pants leaving his lips, as he steadily coaxes them-- and himself-- to the edge. he'll inevitably spare them his time for another round or two (he does have a reputation to uphold, after all) before slinking off into the night with a quick goodbye. he's got better things to be doing, after all.
satan, who still has a lot to learn when it comes to keeping his emotions in check. you have opened him up to a range of emotions he never thought he'd experience-- but now it's up to him to work through them. lust, adoration, trust, love. he has to hide his disinterest with others, now, as he leaves conversations in favor of your company. they just don't make him feel like you do. can't you see what you're doing to him? he just doesn't feel in control of his own emotions around you. not in the enraged, irritable way he felt before, but almost pathetic in the way he needs you to make him feel things, to learn how to live with all these thoughts and feelings and-- fuck, you're going to be the death of him.
satan, who never would have guessed he'd end up in this position. for all that he's wanted you, he never quite convinced himself that he'd be able to have you. and yet, he does. his hands are holding your wrists as he pins your back against his mattress. how did he get here? he remembers something of a playful bout of wrestling before this point... but your eyes, those eyes, looking up at him, wide and lustful and focused on him alone... his lips meet yours quickly, almost sloppily in his urgency. he thought he would be softer. he barely hears the loud riiiip! of your shirt as he tears it off of you. your gasps turn off his logic and activate a primal desire in him he didn't know he was capable of. he's more forgiving with your shorts and underwear, wrenching them off urgently but leaving them in tact as he tosses them to the ground. his mouth sucks and nips at your collarbone as his fingers toy with your sex, lubricating his fingers with your juices and working them into your eager hole. his fingers stretch you in a scissoring motion, your noises of delight spurring his pace forward until he can feel you squirming with an impending climax. he pulls his slick fingers out of you and spreads whatever's left across his cock. he eases into you and growls. his words have escaped him. all his flowery language, the declarations of love he wanted to share with you, escape him in that moment-- he can't even fucking speak. you're too good. you don't seem to keen on doing much talking, either. you impatiently bounce your hips back against his, and that's all the invitation he needs to begin fucking you senseless. his pace is ruthless, cock slamming into the deepest parts of you, stars dancing in your vision until you teeter over the edge much too soon. his pace slows just long enough for you to recover before his hips are rutting harshly into yours, skin clapping as you moan and whimper for him. when he finally finishes, it's deep, painting your insides white and creamy. he eases out almost apologetically-- that is, until he sees his cum dripping from your hole, your legs shaking a little in the wash of sensations. suddenly he's easing right back in, murmuring an apology under his breath as he fills you once more. you've awoken a side to him he's never seen-- surely you'll understand his need to explore it, right?
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taglist for this series: @the-demonus-aunt // @scienceisfornerds // @hostilemakeover // @snow-fall1 // @kachan890 // @rphantom1 // @respitable
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celestie0 · 7 months ago
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childhood friends to lovers with gojo.
warnings/tags. fluff & angst, sad ending
you two were five when he kisses ur cheek on the playground underneath the slide n you both thought that counted as a first kiss. u two were attached by the hip all throughout elementary school, i mean srs, your parents would even have joint parent teacher conferences bc there was just nothing the two of you wouldn't do together.
and then middle school came around, you joined the marching band n he joined the football team. he starts acting different around you, and it hurts. bc you two were best friends. you were always supposed to be best friends. he starts hanging out w the popular kids, and you find yourself walking home alone. summer before high school, he wants to hang out again, but you tell him you deserve better than that. and you two drift apart.
it's hard starting high school without him, watching him from afar during lunch in the cafeteria. he's with his table of phonies, acting like someone he's not, and you know because you've always known him. better than anyone else. you really wanna join the cheer team, since you've done gymnastics for a long time, but you've always been too afraid to tryout for the team. this time, you do, and you get in. now all of a sudden he wants to talk to you again, now that you're popular in high school and have earned a place on the field during his games. fuck that, you say to him, you threw away what we had just because i wasn't good enough for you to have by your side. you start dating his teammate, you two are nominated for prom queen & king, and he has to watch as you kiss someone else on stage when you win. someone that should've been him. he starts dating the cheer captain, just to show it off when he comes running to her after a winning game, kissing her right in front of you but he's not looking at her, he's looking at you. to make sure you're watching. and you do the same thing to him. and the whole time you two are wondering what are we doing to one another?
summer after high school, he shows up to your doorstep one day on his skateboard. with a box full of all the letters you used to send him as a kid. you still have yours too, somewhere tucked underneath your bed. you spend the whole afternoon laughing with him as you read through them all, laying on the carpet of your living room, and you both feel like kids again. he hovers over you when he kisses you, but you're still mad at him, and to show him how mad you are, you kiss him back. it's no use, you two are going to different colleges, you'll hardly see him, but he swears he'll call. he swears he'll fly to see you. he swears he'll never makes the same mistakes again, because he wants you. and only you. you kiss his cheek, and say okay.
and he does. he does everything he promises you. but the distance is too hard, and he was a little too late. you break up with him over a twenty-one character text sent while you're drunk at a house party your second semester at university, and he just doesn't understand. he'll never understand. and he never sees you again.
until you're both thirty-two, standing in line at the grocery store. he taps your shoulder, you turn around, you wonder if it's a stranger who wants a favor, and you realize he's so much more than that. he's the little boy that kissed your cheek underneath the slide when you were five. your first kiss. except it wasn't, was it? his face is long, and his cheeks have lost plush, but he looks so handsome it makes your heart skip a beat. you two are pleasant, exchanging it's been so long! and you look great! but when his eyes catch the twinkle of the wedding ring on your finger, his smile drops ever so slightly, and when he scratches his cheek to hide the sadness, you notice a band on his finger too. and he pays for your groceries, just to be kind. and you thank him for it, just to be kind. and you go your separate ways, never to speak again. but there's a box that still sits somewhere in your closet. and a similar one still sits in his too.
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miraclecherryblossomsblog · 7 months ago
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Yandere Jin woo brainrot
TW: yandere themes, bit solo leveling spoilers, kidnapping, jerking off mention, possessiveness, muder implication, manipulation mention yall let me know for anything i missed
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Ok wanna join on the yandere potential jin woo has cuz ya'll so right and should say it full with ur chest-
I get it. Making jin woo possessive is hot and yeah! He would definitely he would be a possessive type and I can see him not even flickering a finger when it comes to kidnapping his darling. Probably the easiest kidnapping ngl feel darling would take a sole minute to realize the oh-so-late the situation they're in
or mabey there isn't a need to kidnap them cuz my guy got thousands of eyes around, its impossible to miss darling by a beat and besides feel like he's the type of yandere that doesn't affect darling's life that much other than him being a maniac simp (killing for beloved way i mean)
I can see both scenarios but....
What I don't see is for him being aggressive to darling...even when confronting them I feel like he wouldn't be angry....like if darling's crying or confused on what's happening Jin woo would certainly comfort and coo at them, I can definitely see him being outright screaming ur heart out to anyone else
Ya'll remember that jin woo became who he was for the sake of protecting his family right? That including their happiness as well. Yeah he wanna keep them forever and ever and only make darling look no one else but him-
but seeing darling sad and loosing that shine in their eyes they once had after taking them by force.....i can see that affecting him because even so the system forced him to become a lethal weapon doesn't mean that he becomes immune to sadness or hurt (ya'll remember how he cried as his dad vanished like????? OUCH???? TF??????)
Feel like he would manipulate darling into making them believe that their asshole coworker's probably just on vacation or maybe he quitted and got another job.....yeah that gotta be
pretty sure he gotta have a photo book(?) of u somewhere, most of the pics are u doing normal stuff or u just asleep drooling on a table or something lol.
Would he be like bit of a pervert too? I can defenitely see him having higher horny level, specialy after getting with his darling WITH CONSENT CUZ CONSENT'S HOT U GUYS JIN WOO STILL A GENTELMAN (even tho i can def see him jerking off with his nose on one of ur clothing pieces ANDAOOP-)
lmao like those moments where the character goes "let's fuck" with the most serious face and the other's like "HUH???like right NOW???????" JDUISFPIUAOEUGRBEPIGBARBGPB
He loves darling so much, he wants to see them smile, tease them until their face runs hot, maybe annoy them a bit and see their cute lips turn into a pout have fun and enjoy their lives together as they grow old.....
yandere shadow monarch's scary as fuck to anyone human or not, but to his family and to you he is nothing but their jin woo who worked hard af to get the power to protect those he loves
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starrbright · 5 months ago
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𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐒 || 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐄
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Creatures of nightmares that crawl from nothing to land he's dealt with for so long, he himself bounded to those, unthinkable abilities he wields; he never questioned reality. But there's an impenetrable sense of high he's in as he fixes in your softness, it doesn't feel real. It's peaceful, he thinks that is what dreaming is.
Kishibe finds his demise not to be of devils, fiends, wars—not even of death.
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images used: X | X
April 2023 - April and June 2024. about fucking time. to the ones that encouraged me to start writing for csm, i'm truly so sorry for the long delay. when i started this piece for him, i was focused and suddenly i wasn't and a lot kept happening and i didn't want to touch this until i was on it entirely, i wanted this to be perfect, so i shelved it. and i hope the waiting does the justice. the lack of works for this anime with us fat readers is what started this all and you encouraged me, so thank you for that🙇🏽‍♀️🙏🏼. writing the end of this was so difficult, i'm so sorry again this kept delaying.
if you've read the manga or watched the show, you may have noticed or not—and that i've only realized i didn't address reader's contract with devils in the previous works in this series and in this one, the case is still the same 😁 because, honestly, i just forgot about it. apologies for that
nearing 8k words. all my y/n are afab, fat and of color. Reader is in 50's. with two children. a ten and four years old. divorced. ex-devil hunter. kishibe hums a lot here because he does that a lot. he barely talks as well, that's how i headcanon him, i just can't see him saying too many things that wouldn't be from someone like him🙁 slight slowburn. a tiniest tinge of crack. one thing about me in my works is i will always inject my pride in my characters! masturbation. light sparring. spit play? pussy eating. fucking.
I'll be disappearing for a while for another work, this drained me. enjoy!!! as always, thoughts are more than welcome!! thank you💌
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On routine, that's how Kishibe's life was, all the same everyday. Even in the unusual situations with his job, all the same as well; natural. He's not sick of it, no. He's just....bored. Sure, he gets laid most of the time, but that, too, was routine. Funny thing to say for an old man like him, who has nothing going on in his life, on purpose, chooses to be.
Though just to say the least, he's quite getting sick of the boredom. But he doesn't do anything about it, there was nothing to come across his mind. So instead, his fate did it for him.
Delivering him something new, and that something was someone.
Someone moving into the building where he lives, in the top floor he's in, no less. In a building where it looks so lonely because it was a bit far away from the city and only a few buildings were surrounded by the place. It's literally lonely, one could say, because there are only three tenants in it and he's already included among them--and said three tenants don't know each other, let alone have crossed paths before. He preferred it that way.
For probably enough time that one could bear until they went mad, it was like that.
Until it was broken off by you.
And what's new is that you're there standing in the elevator with enough bags that one could carry sitting on the floor.
You know each other. He knows you. Only a few years younger late when you got in the division from him. Never worked with you but still knew of each other. One of the reasons is because you're known in the division, respected rather. A few of the primes, same like him. But that is until you switched to working in the office rather out in the field, still you were esteemed. That was all he knew. He never paid much attention to trivial things anyway; not unless it was something he should be concerned about.
"Kishibe?" You voiced, eyebrows furrowed.
"L/N." He replied, voice ever nonchalant.
As you stepped out of the elevator, he took a few of your bags from the floor as you did and you didn't say anything to it. No such thing as shyness or awkwardness between two grown people like you, let alone that you know of each other.
"So you're the one living here?" You asked, both of you walking in the long hallway.
"And you're moving."
"Guess we weren't both told then."
"That's the rule anyway."
Confidentiality was the top rule of the apartment, no introductions, not even background checks or anything. Closed off and expensive. That piques his interest, just a little though.
Though what you both find odd—even a little amusing is how you didn't even get to see each other when the two of you figure that of the day you checked out the place. And only now. What coincidence, you supposed.
Of you seeing how he was the only one living on the floor, you spoke your thoughts. "...And I suppose you being the only one here on this floor is ruined by me." You chuckled a little.
"Doesn't seem so bad." He answered just as easily and simply. Any other time back then, he wouldn't have liked this, it would have made his eyes sharp and lips fell even lower....but today, he's not gonna complain.
You nod, a small curve of your lips turning up. "...That's good to know," you say and not a second later, you arrived at your door. "....Well, thank you."
Kishibe laid the bags inside on the floor just as you opened the door, "Hmm," he just voiced before going his way.
This didn't deter you or anything, seeming to know that he's always been that.....rather reserved, you could say....anyone will, actually.
And as you went on to fix your things up, you thought of the man. That you were surprised to see him, much more that he lives here. You weren't bothered by it...just surprised—rather curious to what comes next.
This was him after all, the prime of the primes. The so reserved man, so as you now find new (the place he lives at could say a lot already) but suppose that's normal for his age, close to your age rather and especially in the kind of work you both have, let alone his.
"Shouldn't this be interesting?" You say to yourself just as you folded the last bag to its place.
Something new is what you came here for anyway,
As night has come, you made dinner not only for yourself but as well.....well, Kishibe. You'll be living closely for such a time and it's always right to give something for your neighbour. Though at the back of your mind, you can't help but think, does he even cook? eat for himself properly? It encouraged you more to give him something. Be it as a nature of a mother, and who was once a wife, you believe.
So late of the night when the time has come that the devil hunters usually go home from work, specifically in his rank—a few minutes after that said time, you went out from your apartment to head over his. Walking down the hallway, holding the small and still heated ceramic pot. As you reached the door, you knocked, successfully.
Seconds later, the door opened to show the man, looking a bit tired more than usual, just out from his coat but still in his attire, white shirt messily opened and hair ragged.
He has always been quite handsome, hasn't he?
"I'm sorry if I disturbed but I made you something as a gift of me moving in, I suppose." You spoke, putting up the pot slightly and he eyes it down.
He only said nothing but took the casserole from your hands and just hummed, walking back in, leaving the door open for you to just stand there, contemplating to leave as you figured the man was much more....him than he was.
Then you heard him speak, his usual voice that was gruffly. "Beer?" Coming from the kitchen.
You almost chuckled in surprise, thinking for a second he'd just leave without saying anything and now he offers you beer. Daring to take that as an invitation, you went in and closed the door. "I'm fine, thank you." You answer as you follow where he was. You see him took out a glass pitcher from the fridge and was holding a glass in his other hand, pouring the water in it as he put it on the table just beside the bottled and unopened beer.
Kishibe was a bit surprised, if he admits so. He actually thought you would have gone along just like everyone does.....just as he does normally. But here you are now, just at his door earlier, offering him a gift you made for him. So yes, he was surprised.
Opening the glass bottled beer, he took a light sip from it before opening the casserole that stood out on the table...well it was empty anyway. It was pasta, something he haven't had in a while, and something he'd devour in a while as he was damn hungry and haven't had dinner yet.
.....He was liking this new thing already.
The savoury scent immediately flourishes in the air, putting off the smell of musk and alcohol of the place. Kishibe didn't mind, though he just went to the wide terrace that lets the wind come in strongly, you follow shortly and he leans on the railings, a cigarette already in his mouth.
You placed yourself a bit far across from where he was leaning your waist back on the railings, the sound of night faint in the background. "How long have you been living here?" You asked.
The man let out the smoke before answering, still looking ahead, "Don't exactly count it,"
You nod, looking at him for a second as you lightly chuckled, uttering a small, "Of course."
Kishibe then gave you a side glance, looking at the view again. "Why'd you choose this?"
"I wanted to be away from the city but not so far that it'll be inconvenient for me and my children, and there this place was."
This made his eyebrows furrow but he wasn't looking at you, though you saw that. "They're separated from me as I'm divorced from my ex-husband....let him gain custody of them." You spoke but just stopped there, not wanting to say too much.
He looks at you this time, not tearing it away. "Is that why you switched to the office?"
Trivial things....trivial things he doesn't get involved with, nor even asked questions about.....but maybe this one won't change a thing and normal he thought it was to be curious at the very moment.
"Yes," That's what you only answer, he doesn't ask more and just looked away from you. Only smoke lingers in the air, no sense of any discomfort but you're both just there.
Until you spoke again, "I'll be off now, good night." You bid as you crossed your arms over your robes and stood up straight before walking. You only hear him hum as you did.
It was the beginning of a new thing to become a routine.....one that he wouldn't be sick of.
As it was the same for you. Just after finally settling down, your new abode made, you began to get more comfortable in the place. That meant with your neighbour. Well, maybe not so much but just enough to give him what you cook when you have time to make such meals at night. Just enough to let yourself in his place as every time you brought him something. Always in the terrace, the man will always smoke and drink his beer or just from his flask, and you'd just be there, not talking of anything but work, at least after a few nights then you both began speaking of said work, all the ordeals you go through...but still words were only kept short and few.....and just only that.
.
.
.
Stacked papers in your hands piled up on your arms as you're in the elevator, just walking out of it when it reaches your floor. Just as you're halfway in the hallway, Kishibe walks out of his place and he stops when he sees you, looks at his watch then back to you, not even fazed with the countless papers you have.
This makes you chuckle, slowing down. "Yes, my office was quite busy this afternoon because of the new recruits and what happened in the city." You spoke, Kishibe barely tuts his head, knowing how paperworks after hunting, its casualties and much more that comes with it—can be a bitch.
Figuring that with how late it is and the fact the man has been getting his dinner from what you've been giving him lately—you asked simply. "Are you getting dinner?"
That and maybe getting laid, he's had a damn day after that shit happened in the city. But maybe not tonight after all.
Kishibe took some of the papers and folders from you and began to walk towards your door. "What are you making?"
Your lips curved slightly, "Harako Meshi, been a while since I've had it and my friend gave me sake, so I figured."
Kishibe doesn't think there's been a second for him to think that he hasn't liked it every time you bothered him ever since you showed up. Yeah, he can't see that he'll be getting sick of this thing soon.
There he smokes on your balcony just as he laid the papers and folders on the table in the living room. And you're already in the kitchen just after you changed into a more comfortable clothes....a clear view of you as you work.
Your space was much more different from his ( Untouched and just left how it was. Dull. ) you damn turned the place upside down, one wouldn't think this one room was inside a soulless building. It reeks of home.
Home. He's unfamiliar with that since he was young and until now, let alone of the very word.
Kishibe sought to think how someone like you could still be in this kind of life. And he thought he's thinking enough, so he turned to the view and took a long drag.
You weren't oblivious to his stare, it doesn't bother you. Clear was how you hear his unspoken thoughts, it doesn't bother you as well. Anyone would think the same.
As you continue to work in the kitchen, you thought....how long it must have been for him since he's been in a home.....to feed well. A part of you smiles in daring to hope to give him a taste of it...no matter how...cruel it was if one were to see it in the other way. Give the satiated man he knows he doesn't...wouldn't...couldn't have.
Your conscience lies in just doing something nice for him.
You begin to prepare the table and Kishibe walks in, unhesitantly bringing some of the things you made on the table and the sake, of course. Now there you both are sitting across from each other and started to eat.
"I've heard that you'll be training the two recruits." You spoke.
Kishibe nods as he continues to eat-he really was damn glad he didn't go out. "Two fiends, nothing I can't handle."
"I'm sure." You spoke mindlessly....then you speak again. "She's planning something, isn't she?"
"She's always planning something."
That much was unfortunately and thankfully known. "Teach the boy well."
"I'll give him hell."
"You better."
You two didn't even miss a beat.
Kishibe's lips almost quirked as he drank. It was...quite...good to know that there lies an agreement between the dangerous notion. Nothing but truth in your voice as you speak every time....expectedly rare in the life of you both live.
"You stayed even if the cause of your separation is because of it." He spoke, no tone of anything but just his own voice.
Again, you were quite surprised as he said that, clearly not expecting him to take any interest, let alone even a bit of curiosity from him. But you didn't show it, nor were you offended by what he asked.
"Because this way, I can still protect them without risking my life so much before and not worry them anymore."
Of course.
"You and Quanxi were a loss to both the divisions." He'll give you that much.
And you were proud for that one. "We're all lucky that they let me switch without anything in return and that you remained to shoulder all the shit."
He couldn't agree more.
Now you both are done eating, with you fixing up the table and Kishibe on your balcony once again smoking—before you join him, nothing but the distant sounds of the city.
"Hayakawa?" You asked.
"Close."
"Have you warned Himeno?"
"He's set straight to it. Screws all lose."
You took a sharp breath from your nose as you looked up at the sky. "Kind boy," you spoke mindlessly.
Kishibe just hums as he let out his smoke. Silence came in and it was welcomed..a few more while, his cigarette ran dry....and there he bids. "Good night," and you just stood there still ahead to the view and him not sparing a glance as he spoke.
Normal night, you supposed.
Work was work. Walking in the corridors in the division, headed to your office...Kishibe was there walking in your opposite direction. As you both continue to walk, no glances were made but kept straight. A few times in that and left in the back of your minds.
And...now...he walks in the elevator of the apartment just as you did earlier seconds ago.
"You making something?" he asks as the elevator closes. It seems he likes your cooking more than you thought.
You hum, nodding. "Vegetable curry."
Kishibe raises his brow, "At night?"
You chuckle a little, "It seems so."
He just hums.
As you now cook in your kitchen, the door is left opened for the man who is still yet to come.
Then, what an odd mixture of the night was; aroma of the dish, cigarette and alcohol. It was welcomed nonetheless.
.
.
.
For some fucking reason...Kishibe hasn't had sex for a while...well...ever since you moved in, that is. And he's a simple man but dumb...he knows the reason why; you. Some fucking reason, huh.
Blind. The notion coming as unexpected...maybe...but is it really unexpected...really?
After all, what is to be expected when two grown people share the same floor together, what is to be expected when each night they share dinner together...what is to be expected when those two persons have some needs and those needs untouched?
Yeah, you. You've been...having thoughts about the man, you weren't bothered by it...if anything, again, you deemed it normal...and you aren't denying it as well. The man is fucking appealing. You know you can't blame yourself for it and you don't. But of course, that doesn't mean you'd act upon it. You are in need, needy, sure...maybe even aching but you have your....yes—your pride.
Oh, you're well aware that there lingers something in the air, it's palpable but still subtle...however hidden, it's there and you feel it. You both do.
But what does Kishibe do? Nothing. Went with his day and night like his mind hasn't thought of running his cock through a certain fucking someone. He's not exactly sure of what's keeping him from doing the exact thing.
But what's not keeping himself from doing is letting his hand go down on him, his free hand loosening his tie as he sits back on his couch lazily. Hardened length straining so tight against his boxers and black slacks.
"Hmghm..." He groans. That sinful sound...that rumbles through his chest so good even with his lips just closed. Kishibe took his already lit cigarette from the ashtray on his table, taking a long drag as he continues to palm himself. His fingers firmly pressing on his clothed cock.
He let out the smoke from his mouth. Pent up heat in him almost leaving along with the smoke, staring to nothing at the ceiling, his eyes clearly seeing your tempting figure. Engraved you were in his mind, he can thank himself for always letting his eyes linger on you, taking you all in when he stands on your balcony as you cook in your kitchen. Not turning his gaze away anymore ever since his...needs gotten the best of him and satisfied his eyes.
With one hand, he unhooked his belt and took seconds to free his aching cock, standing proud and leaking already. Kishibe closed his eyes, his head still laid back on the couch, exhaling deeply once his fingers wrapped on his base...allowing whatever was enabling him to feel it as your own fingers, it slides down so slowly, the closed palm confining his cock so warm and good, what he has been depriving of.
Your hands....your hands that moves fluidly when you handle your cooking, his mind flashing him visions that your hands are on his cock whenever he's there in your balcony.
Kishibe takes another long drag as he continues to suffocate his cock, still so slow, up and down, a strained groan this time as he slowly let out the smoke, eyes still closed. Feeling your hand go a bit fast now. Sweat and pre coating his length and your plush skin, it makes his chest start to rise and fall now. Droplets of sweat gathering on his skin and it drips down from his neck to his chest and down to his abdomen.
A rhythm being found. Still not that fast but enough...so enough to build fire in him as you circle your closed palm on him up and down, all while you run your thumb on his tip every time.
.....The fuck you do to him...penting him up just by watching you cook there...a humanly ritual...a domestic act...one he was barely familiar of and he's getting all hot about it. The cigarette he takes is blameless for it, but what he's familiar of humanly ritual...is need.
And what he needs is release.
Kishibe's throat strains as he hums….an animalistic growl as the ministrations on his cock continues. The pace still the same but filling in his peak slowly, and he likes it that way. Just as how the alcohol he drinks burn slowly in him. He savours it each and every time, just like right now, Kishibe feels you take your sweet time fisting him hard and steady. His tip continuously leaking, leaking more each time the pads of your fingers would go over his tip and press on it.
He held his cigarette with two fingers as that same hand reached out to get his glass on the table. Taking a drink of his whiskey as your hand never stops on him. Fucking hell...that flaring smoke of his cigarette, the alcohol, the burning waves from his straining cock, it engulfs him, enough...more than enough to send any being into euphoria. Deep and long groans rumbles from him as he feels it all, his throat and all the way down, burns. Clenching him.
However he was drowning in fire already, however enough it was...he wants more...he wants more than your hand. So what he does is grab the crown of your head and make you take his cock into your mouth, fingers gripping your hair to guide you in. Lips sliding against his thick and long length, tongue flat above him, the walls of your mouth and the end of your throat. "Fuck." Kishibe growls, the glass got put down on the table too hard that it might have cracked, his cigarette almost falling from his fingers.
Gurgled sounds vibrates through him and he hears it, he hears you. His grip on your hair strong as ever so as to keep the pace going, fast and hard, he assaults your mouth, his drips spilling to your tongue, down to your throat. His peak long gone from burning tantalizingly slow and turned to wildfire, overflowing, his hips now twitching, rising to make the pressure he gets in your mouth stay. Kishibe feels your breath going away as he doesn't let you breathe but just continues to hold your hair so tight, still making you take him. He can't lose his end...so whatever what was left in him is now gone as he moves his hips to fuck your mouth better. Slowly he does while he makes yours only faster and harder if it's still possible.
"Mhmgr fuck..." His growling sounds never stops as it continues, his hips slapping to you, abusing your mouth with his cock again and again. It didn't take much longer for him to see his release; all of him strongly clenched as his cock stilled in you, reaching the end of your throat, he feels it go down while his cum flows in you. The cigarette on his fingers now being crushed in his hand as he closed his fist so tight, the burning pain on his skin was nothing as he stays in his high, cock flinching in you while his lower body continues to slowly move against you to feel it all.
"Mgrhm…” It's what echoed in his walls continuously, his chest slowly comes down from its rising and falling, shirt soaked with sweat, hair falling with droplets of it as well.
"Kishibe."
He hears you call out to him from your kitchen. Dead eyes, he looks to you. "I think you wasted your cigarette." You nod to his cigarette on his hand...and as he now noticed, realized—it was crushed by his strongly closed fist, burning his skin once more. Kishibe opened his hand, showing his long before scarred flesh now freshly tainted...bits of its remains falling...because he was thinking of having your hand on his cock and fucking your mouth last night when he was only doing it by himself.
His thoughts long left to ashes the moment he stood in your balcony once again this night.
He needs to end this. He will have you soon.
Anticipation fills you. You know one way or another something will happen, you don't know when but you know it's hanging on by a thread...it has your heart racing...and your cunt beating.
The air of the night was fucking thick as you eat together.
And it's getting thicker with each passing second as the morning comes. It had to be fucking Saturday, where it's both your day off. But thankfully...as fucked up as it's sounds, you'd be luckily distracted as your two children will come over in the afternoon. And hopefully, he won't be in his place or anything to not cross paths with him today. The last thing you want right now is to see him at the moment...some part of you knows that if you do—it would be not too different from your thoughts.
But even that, of course...us creatures are nothing to the will of time; just another words to say it ended how one would normally expect. Bumping into each other...well, not exactly that, maybe worse than it. With him walking into your place with your two children walking in front of him.
The moment you heard a heavy footsteps along with a light and rapid ones, your eyebrows furrowed as you took a few steps aside to see who it was and you almost dropped the tray of freshly baked cookies from your hands as your eyes met his.
It took you not even a second to figure out the reason what's happening right now; you let your children just play around and inevitably went out of your place to go and play around on the floor. Either they knocked on his door or ran into him—either way, you knew your children likes to be friendly...and that says a lot, given how only a few children would approach a man like Kishibe.
You should have known better.
Though what could you have done to avoid it from happening, anyways. Finding your composure inside of you. "Tell me they just ran into you and didn't knock on your door." You spoke, laughing lightly as you went back to work.
"They knocked," Kishibe answers simply, as always.
"Yes, of course." You nod as a little laugh escapes you once more. Setting the cookies on the cooling rack. The sounds of your children in the background as Kishibe now stood in your kitchen, leaning the back of his waist on the counter, his eyes on you.
You were glowing...he hasn't noticed that before. He's sure he hasn't heard you laugh that much as well, probably normally because of your children...something is gotta be wrong with him...no, that's just his...desires that's making him notice.
You could strangle yourself right now, maybe even do something worse, because what the fuck is his problem staring at you while you're trying your best to not even so much show an ounce of waver in your composure and you know he knows what he's doing. What the fuck is he even gonna do here?
...Yeah, your mind was all over the place and that has rarely happened before, almost never. Yet you can't find the urge...the guts to ask him why he's staying right now this time.
Instead, you fucking ask him if he wants coffee, he just nods as he took one of your cookies.
Maybe...he stayed for your cookies
You almost bash your head on the counter as the thought occurred.
The kettle made its noise and you made your coffees. "You gonna have them over for dinner?" He asked.
"Mmnn, yes," you answer. But you hesitate to ask if he'll join.
"What are you making?" he asks once more. Your lips quirked as your mouth is now close to your cup. Well, you didn't have to worry about that after all.
"Pasta. It's their favourite." You spoke. And Kishibe remembers the night you gave him that dish. He still has the taste at the end of his tongue when he lets you in his door, he cannot wait to taste it again.
Which he does as the night falls, with your children across from both of you as your besides each other this time. The laughter of you and your children...it's nice. Pasta and among other things he can barely remember the names of, nonetheless he eats so well. Lots of it tastes unfamiliar and yet it's so welcoming...he wants more of it.
Kishibe's mind is stirring, the smoke is fogging his mind, so as he believes....or something must be in your food—he's really losing it.
And through his silence with only little of his words, through his eyes with your subtle glances besides him; you see through him. It almost worries you...you really gave him a taste of it. Where it goes from here next, you don't know but possibilities, of course, runs in your mind...more possibilities.
And it fueled even more when you caught a glimpse of his eyes when you got embraced and kissed by your ex-husband as he arrived to pick up your children...and Kishibe met your gaze as your former lover did.
The mere act alone...nothing needed to be said more.
The night hangs quiet when your children goes with their father, with Kishibe still there with you. If it was possible, the beating of your heart could echo loudly in your place as you fix up the table, with him following you to do the same, it's the first time he helped you with it....it's enough to say what it could possibly mean.
The glasses in your hand clang against one another as your said hand trembles a little to lay it down in the sink, while he walks close to you to put the plates in it as well. You're both so close to each other. He towers over you, he's just that damn tall. Kishibe only stands there as you did, his eyes looming above and behind you, his breathing turning deep that it was now heard in the deafening silence.
He can have you right there and then. Be relieved of his insanity.
Yet instead he speaks, "How long has it been since you sparred?"
Your mouth has already exhaled a light laugh before you could stop yourself. "It has...been quite some time."
In his mind, what he's to do could compensate for what he doesn't yet—"Why? You gonna run my memory?"
Before you know it, you're trapped by the counter and him, the edge of a knife on your throat, your hand on his wrist firmly—your eyes dead on him in sheer stun, laced with thin provocation. Seeing his gaze doesn't change at all; it was more maddening. "You doubted me." You at last utter in a calculating disbelief, your fingers tightening around his grip.
Kishibe lives by your nerves resonating through him, they're loud and strong because of him. It feeds him. "I wondered." He spoke, still having the blade directly on you.
You don't feel anything from him but now that the proximity grants you to fully look him in the eyes, you can finally see he's burning.
The evidence is more worrying than the weapon dying for your throat.
"That's wounding." You breathe.
"Everything is."
You only scoff at his reply, before your other free hand swiftly went to get another knife of his from one of his pocket and aimed it for the side of his head—only for him to stop it by his hand that once trapped you, his hold just effortlessly firm, barely a strength to keep you from driving the blade in his brain.
Even when you never worked together, your reputation has never doubted you and that he can see now right in front of him.
"Proof enough?" You ask.
Not enough of you.
He only huffed a short hum. Just like that, he retracts the knife against you and that you held against him. "Good night."
Not now. Not yet. The burning in him, he wants to feel it more before anything.
The exchange has you falling to your knees as your hands weakly hold on the sink. A warning for what's to come more.
What deprivation can do to a being.
Yes, indeed what it can do to a being; it has Kishibe filling his glass with whiskey, trying to wash away whatever he's thinking, whatever he's feeling. But no matter how many downs he takes, it doesn't go away, it won't, it can't. Especially not when the sight of you and your ex-husband...lovingly held each other, even when it was short, it was undeniable there was.....love between you both still. He doesn't know the bits of your remaining relationship with your ex-husband, but he sees well enough that there isn't something between you both....and yet, when he saw that sight, it bothered him, something went off.
Another man clinging to you like that, it comes crashing down. It's getting ridiculous. He's gonna turn into ashes if he continues to let this burn.
Icarus' wings could only bear so much of the sun after all.
.
.
.
The day is going too fucking slow and it's driving you crazy. You're at work and you haven't even had a glimpse of him in the apartment nor at work. Just what is happening to you, acting like a damn puppy who can't seem to keep it in. It has you tired as you come home. Heels heavy as you walk through the corridors, eyes lingering to his door as you pass by.
You were left nowhere but to wait. So wait you did. Your door left open—you begin to prep for dinner after taking a long time under the water, composure building up again all while. But of course, your mind was still somewhere else, your insides never stopping of its fluttering as you mindlessly go.
By doing that, it was only a mere expectation of yours for it to now actually happen.
Though a complete lack on your part, really, that even with years of being a hunter and still having whatever you've learned and throughout all the years even when you switched from being one—you missed that someone has walked in your place.
Now you find yourself suddenly dropping the knife you were washing, the water left running as you felt a strong presence loom behind you. You stood there unmoving, breath caught in your throat the moment you felt it. Felt him.
The seconds turned slow but your heart was the opposite being filled with...thrill. "Kishibe." A breathless murmur echoes faintly but he hears it greatly and there comes his rope snapping. Your voice that's been plaguing him, it finally mutes everything.
Kishibe laid his hand on your right arm and the other around your waist as he pulled you tightly close against him, immediately meshing his fingers on your belly. Your breath being taken away from you again. He won't say he can't believe what's happening because he expected the boundness when he grew close to you.
His hand on your arm has been rising up, rough palm on your skin, his grasp heavy; feeling the softness of the fat on your arm to your shoulder, kneading you there with his mouth heated on the side of your forehead. "Been too long." In a low breath he says as he continues to tightly caress on your shoulder, before going down to slip under your dress then slipping his fingers in your bra, his thumb and index finger now playing with your nipple, the rest of his palm fondling your breast.
Creatures of nightmares that crawl from nothing to land he's dealt with for so long, he himself bounded to those, unthinkable abilities he wields; he never questioned reality. But there's an impenetrable sense of high he's in as he fixes in your softness, it doesn't feel real. It's peaceful, he thinks that is what dreaming is.
"I think it's just about time." You merely replied, finding your hand relying firmly on his nape, as the other reaches for the faucet to stop the running water while he goes on. Your waked mind still there before you let yourself go in a haze later.
Kishibe ghosts his face down on the side of yours, his nose breathing you in so much before he opens his eyes and looks at your lips—then to your gaze.
He feels foolish again but he feels it more so the more he thinks about it, so he just simply kisses you now.
It has been too long.
It's humorous; a simple kiss making you want to fall on your knees.
The remnants of cigarette and whiskey you're now familiar with, you can taste with mouths being held together, and he begins with mildly sucking you. His hand that was groping on your belly trails up to your neck, pushing his mouth to yours even more as he drags it open—only to suck your lips once again out of hunger that he spills freely, swallowing roughly each kiss he takes after the other, soaking his dry mouth with you—only then he uses his tongue against yours, tangling on one another, roaming it inside you, swimming his tongue in whatever saliva that gathers in your mouth. Dragging you in.
A simple kiss.
So much for it when you pull away before you could no longer breathe—your chest heaves, lips parted with air heavily leaving in and out of you. He's no different; gaze darkened as blown, you could almost hear the growl that threatens to echo from him, his grip creasing on your neck to your nape and he turns you around to face him. He pushes you just slightly to put the back of your waist against the edge of the sink, leaning his body down so he's levelled to you.
The hand of yours on his neck slides to lay it on the side of his face, it's the first time you're looking at each other this long, for more than five seconds directly, let alone this close, gazes straight through your souls. Kishibe always looks at the person he talks to straight at them without falter, and you've seen that having him done it to you only a few times, before you both always turn your eyes away as the days kept going. Now you see all of him as he allows himself.
A voracious kiss.
When has a man been so…..desperate?
When have you ever been so wanting? Shameless; rapid, messy, strong, wet.
Drowning in need you seek. Your sex has long gone weeping in your panties. Kishibe’s throbbing cock only soothed by the tightness of his clothes below, even as he was starting to drip of his own arousal, he just left it before he took you up to lay your back on the counter after suffocating your lungs in that kiss, simply pushing off the things that's there and shattered on the floor but never parting his mouth away from you, from your face, your neck, to your chest and belly while his hands took off your undergarments below as he goes down more.
It's incomprehensible. Your fate that brought you upon him, that has led to a path of the Kishibe barely on his knees to finally have a taste of your pussy. The feeling of his mouth and tongue latched on your cunt the first second was already the last thread of your hold on your existence. That hold became your fingers wading through his hair, thighs already trembling in his tight grasp, sounds of pleasure etched to your erratic breathing.
Kishibe is not at all rough when he began—subdued; each kiss he gives, each suck he takes is heavy. He doesn't want to rush. He has suffered to simply hurry and not feel every thrum he could get. His wide and long tongue flat on your whole mound, drinking your slick with each drag he licks, his stubble grazing against the hair and flesh of your cunt.
There's no words from you both, it doesn't exist. Only flesh and unruly power that conjured from your desires. Only the sounds of a hungry man one with his devils as he feeds.
It begins to rise more, the fire your body collects, his ceaseless hunger. Your grip on his hair deepening. The grind of your hips for your cunt to ride his face. The unstoppable tremble of your limbs as you move against him, thighs barely clutching to his head despite his hurtful grip to keep your sex tact to him. The repeating shock and clenching of your pussy with each spit he threw. His mouth nor breath not once waver until he gave your end, only for him to take it out of you again and again. All numb, nerves just wildly spiking everywhere within you—pussy left raw and still weeping, throat dry and eyes in tears.
However his boundless hunger, his mouth is at least given a little bit of your pussy for now for it to be enough and move next. So Kishibe then stood up, your tearful eyes following. It remains unreal to you. His lips so red, half of his face soaked. He swipes his thumb on his cheek, jaw and to his chin, catching what drips from his mouth of the myriad of your cum and swallowed it like the rest. Before that same hand ran over his dishevelled wet hair, and simply took off his tie in one go. Eyes kept on one another the whole moment.
You no longer own your breath….the sounds you've been making…the fog clears more, blinking the tears away, the coldness of the metal in spite of all the heat, your dress clinging on your skin, drenched with sweat; there's a little of shame that seeps back in you.
But you don't turn away from his gaze. Kishibe holds it. You follow him. It took you that long to make a decision. Desirably, you accept it.
Amusing as it is for Kishibe seeing you unfold, he doesn't know how much longer he could stand to not just fuck you senseless. The sound of his belt snapping as he took it off from his pants wakes you up. “Done being in your head?”
Coherent words exist again. You tirelessly breathe out a little laugh, “Barely.” You keep cursing in your head and they're louder now as he frees himself.
He couldn't help the tut on the edge of his lips when he saw the fleeting look of stun from you once he now held his cock. “Just about time, huh?” he plainly taunts as he spits on his palm before he strokes himself.
It's been so long. And he's damn big.
“Fuck you.” You scoffed.
Kishibe swears there was laughter that swirled inside him but didn't reach his mouth. Only the strain in your breath as his left hand gave your still drooling cunt attention again, your body involuntarily tensing before easing again while he slid two of his thick fingers in and barely loosened you up for just mere seconds.
The bits of pain remains treads you on edge, expecting it to double soon. His blood prevails to course so explosively.
You both expected it, nonetheless still by the skin of teeth when Kishibe grazed his cock in. Your walls a soaked and snug furnace, barely halfway—"Fucking,” he trailed off in a mutter, the fingers of his left hand digging on your thigh, the other lightly choking your throat. Each trudge he makes fill the fullness of your cunt takes. It's plain insanity.
“Just about time, huh?” You get back, barely.
Kishibe's laugh is at last freed. It really is madness. It was just an air of laugh, teeth shown; it was priceless. One that you beheld before he just plunges in with no more room left for hesitation. “You fucking—” you growled after he slammed into you, your sudden glare sharply closing as your body took in that shocking goodness against the pain.
“This is nothing yet.”
It is.
It was.
But once again when he began, it's slow and kept. The sting that drags melts more to tight fondling sensations from every thrust he pushes deep in your pussy. You didn't think you would have had a cock fuck you to be this staggering, render you brainless—or more so believe it that's it now happening after having……fantasized of it. Kishibe's cock feeds your pussy so well. You keep him in too well. Soon then again, his abilities are not held back and it's just quite pitiful how you're holding back to not just already break and cum for the nth time. It doesn't matter to him, not really—he wants nothing more than to wring you empty for him.
That's just what he does. He let it go by unsaid as he kept fucking you, making you break no sooner. Your mind barely comprehends he's kissing you as your cum spills and he's still ramming again and again, not making you ride your high, letting his drool make a mess on your mouth again.
You don't stop him however, nor you could in your state. And when he reaches his first end, how is it still possible you break more? Kishibe's left hand holding a death grip on the edge of the counter above your head once he stilled deep inside you, his pulsing cock floods your pussy of his cum. Much of it. He'll be moulding you to a greedy creature in no time, meeting his own ruin. Eyes mirroring too clearly upon one another. You're far gone than you'd have thought you'd be with him, and you don't want to ever go back.
Kishibe has long made that decision before he invaded your home tonight.
The high strongly lingers, still burrowing himself in you before he slowly moves and relives that beating high again. Thick drools of hotness webs in your walls that keeps you full even as he pulls out entirely and seeps out from your folds.
Heats still raging and barely satiated after having much of it.
Your kitchen is a mess and reeking of sex. He takes you standing and bent over the counter after, easily holding you up as he railed you like so, drenching your cunt again with his cum. Keeping his prowess in his wield, when he just carried you to your living room after and had you on his lap as he sat on a couch. Your clothes finally ripped off of you and had you bare as you rode him while he watched and felt the glory. Remnants of your sex left on the couch when he took yourselves to your bedroom, taking you again with your face buried in the sheets, back arched for him as he fucked you from behind. And when you both break again, he doesn't stop, instead loomed himself over your back and still delved his cock in and out endlessly while cum flows out messily, your loud moans strained from his hand squeezing your throat and head deep on the bed. Even as the dawn rises, Kishibe remains.
No end in sight.
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applepie-enthusiast · 1 month ago
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The Upper Moons as Coworkers in the office
Disclaimer: this is just for fun and I don't hate any characters. I love them.
1. Daki - The Bitch™ - Probably insults anyone who she thinks are beneath her. She is like Regina George in an office setting, but worse. Spends 90% of the time applying makeup and styling her hair than actually doing her work. Probably already started numerous rumours of her officemates being pregnant. Hangs out with other gossipers like Douma and probably gives a judgmental look every time you pass by her. She doesn't even try to hide her disdain towards you and people in general. Relishes in the admiration she gets from everyone. Interact with her only if you're also a gossiper 10/10. But even then, she will be talking behind your back, as well.
2. Gyutaro - The Envious™ - Probably the dude who's always seething with hatred the moment he clocks in every time an officemate gets praise, a raise or a promotion before him. Sits on his chair for 8-9 hours thinking of ways to drag that officemate down while simultaneously cursing them for being more "blessed" than he is. He would however stand up sometimes, congratulate the officemate who he is envious of, and sarcastically give over-the-top compliments that may or may not seem like he digs them. Interact only if you want to be petty during your breaktime or you feel like the person he curses deserves it.
3. Gyokko - The Weird One™ - Probably the guy who is a little too invested in his own world that he doesn't care that he spouts grim stuff that lowkey creeps people out. He's the officemate who shares disturbing facts about himself that everyone manages to ignore once they get used to it. Probably reported to the HR multiple times for being a creep. Also probably the same dude who kisses the feet of his boss to get some promotion but even the boss hates his guts. Do not interact.
4. Hantengu - The Blamer™ - His type is probably the most fairly common one in all workplaces. He seems harmless, meek and weak, always playing the victim whenever he does a fuck-up, and always points a finger towards his coworkers instead of acknowledging his own faults, lapses and failures. Probably even reported a few people to the HR anonymously, making false accusations that are actually his own doing. He's the type to make you realize that the workplace isn't the place to gain friends and that it's just the place to gain money. Do not interact (2).
5. Akaza - The One Who Hates His Job™ - Probably the most relatable in any toxic workplaces. He literally dreads the morning he wakes up and realizes he has to go to work and spend 8-9 hours around people who make him hate his life. He carries his unbearable grudge against his shitty coworkers while trying to function as a regular employee doing his job. Probably hates nepotism and is against kissing the butt of his boss (figuratively) but is somehow still a favorite by the said boss. He's the living proof that you shouldn't do so well in your job unless you want to be a "favorite" aka the sacrifice, the scapegoat who receives more jobs above his pay grade and mental capacity to tolerate bullshit all because he's the most normal and functioning accordingly. Probably is stuck in the same job but actively looks for any jobs that might not want him to commit mass murder in his toxic workplace. Interact only if you have the same sentiments as him and if you ain't one of his dreaded officemates. He is however, probably friendly towards other employees in a different department.
6. Douma - The One Who Doesn't Work™ - Probably the dude who arrives late at 10am when the time-in is supposed to be 8am but is unbothered anyway. Does literally no work and only goes there to have fun, and yet somehow isn't fired for some goddamn reason. Always seen carrying a starbucks coffee that stays until clock out hours. Probably overdresses every single day and wears sunglasses inside the office premises that he dramatically lifts up whenever he wants to bother people like Akaza or to start a rumor/gossip with Daki. Unlike Daki though, he seems harmless, friendly even. The type of officemate who will make one feel welcomed and cared for, which often results in people viewing him as a friend and therefore confides in him, not knowing he shares those details to his army of skanks in the office. Interact only if you adore his looks or if you're a masochist, nothing in between.
7. Kokushibou - The Nonchalant™ - The second in command in all offices, but is probably the type you won't see unless there's an emergency meeting of someone fucking up big time. He is almost a no-show but still knows what the fuck is going on inside the office. It was once rumored he has eyes all over the office despite barely even going there. He hates insubordination and doesn't tolerate anyone disrupting the hierarchy. Probably like thinking everything is a specific officemate's fault, in this case, Akaza. He appears at the most random times and disappears just as randomly. You can't interact with him, either you won't spot him or he'll just give you a stare so unreadable and so unsettling you'll back away yourself. Probably secretly wants to be included in the lunch time group together or in gossips.
8. Nakime - The True Nonchalant™ - The officemate who only goes there to work, and understands nobody is a friend and everything is just a job. She arrives, complies, and leaves. She wants to stay as far away as possible from everyone's bullshit. People either forget to invite her or she willingly avoids social convention and refuses to conform to the said rules. Interact with her, but be careful because she could smell bs from a mile away.
9. Muzan - The Shitty Boss™ - Probably embodies the most bosses in the entire world. Terrible, cruel and doesn't give a damn about your wellbeing. He will not accept reasoning, excuses and anything you'd say will most certainly be used against you. He wants results, not excuses. Probably makes one hate their lives more than they already do. Being his favorite isn't a privilege, it's a curse. He will bully, verbally abuse and humiliate his favorites, giving them more work. Just.. don't interact. He probably doesn't want to as well anyway.
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everydayyoulovemeless · 1 year ago
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hiya, how are you doing?
I recently read one of your posts containing yandere NV HCs of certain characters, and it gave me an idea for a request if you're feeling up to it.
This'll be a Fallout 4 yandere headcannon, if that's alright with you. The characters would be:
Deacon, Nick and Hanock, or if you're wanting to, replace any character with Danse, Macready or Cait. I feel like you'd obliterate this, since I live off your writing, lol.
nonetheless, have a good one!
Yandere Deacon, Nick, and Hancock HCs
➼ Word Count » 1.8k ➼ Warnings » Stalking, Threats, Kidnapping, Possessiveness, Drugging, and General Yandere Themes. ➼ Genre » Yandere, Romantic ➼ A/N » Ah! You're so sweet Nonnie! I hope this was what you were looking for <33
Deacon
Deacon knows everything about you. He's constantly following you around and 'gathering intel' as he likes to call it. He'll end up knowing everything there is to know before the two of you even meet.
He justifies everything he does by telling himself that 'he has a job to do and he needs to do it well', even if he seems to have an entire shrine of you back at base.
He gets so scared once you both officially meet because it means that he doesn't have to stalk you for his job anymore. Now he has no reason to find out all these little things about your life, and it scares him that he doesn't have that cover to hide his true intentions behind anymore.
He's very aware at how unhealthy his feelings toward you are and distances himself as much as possible before disappearing from your life entirely.
Eventually, he won't be able to help it and will find a way to weasel back into your life once again, and everything will seem normal from there. You'll hardly realize the type of person Deacon actually is because of how easy it is for him to lie to you.
A lot of the times when he doesn't like someone you hang out with, he'll stalk them for a bit before killing them in a way he sees fit. Usually, it's just sniping, but he can get ugly if provoked. (he was a part of the DP deathclaws at one point)
You'll be none the wiser to the truth because of how easily he can spin it to make him look better. Everything will seem fine and peachy while on the flip side, Deacon's breaking the majority of his morals just to keep his state of mind at bay.
He tries his best to appear laid back and friendly but on the inside he’s screaming, fighting himself not to just grab you or rough up some sideman. He does so much to keep his composure and show that nothing bothers him that it ends up taking a toll on his health.
Even if you dismiss him back to a settlement, he’ll still be 10 steps behind you. He’s come this far and he’s not losing you. He’ll protect you to his last breath.
Deacon might even start sending threatening messages anonymously through caravans just to keep you on edge. He wants you to come running into his arms, hiding away in the Railroad HQ, afraid of your possible assassination while you’re out and about. He can manipulate you so much easier if you're scared.
"Yeahhh, you're 'friend' said that they didn't wanna stick around. Who needed them though, right?"
He might not be one for physical affection, but he ends up hugging you a whole lot as a yandere. They're far from welcoming too due to how tight they are. Bros got an iron grip on you.
Deacon is really protective of you. He doesn’t really care who he’s killing or what he’s doing, if he perceives it as a threat to your relationship, he’s gonna get rid of it. The two of you are partners now, right? You only ever really need him.
He and you will be best friends until he one day decides that he's going to confess to you, and if you even seem slightly against the idea he'll have no issue kidnapping you and keeping you locked away.
He’ll have you trust everything he says, every little lie will go right over your head until it’s too late. All of sudden a hand will reach out from an alley and drag you away from the rest of the Commonwealth, stashed away for Deacon's own peace of mind. Why wouldn’t you want to stay with him, though? He was with you from the start. He knows exactly what he needs to do for you in any situation. He's the one you really want—the one you really need, whether you realize it or not.
Nick
Has a case on you constantly open. Any slight change in behavior or new acquaintance is documented down in his files.
He's on a constant watch for any variable that might compromise your safety or well-being, and if he does find something he deems a threat, he'll take care of it promptly. Even if it's not an act you might've liked.
If he ever finds that you've been gone for longer than usual, he'll track you down and take you to the agency where he won't let you out of his sight for the next couple of days.
There's nothing in the world that would make him want to ever hurt you and makes a constant effort in ensuring that he doesn't accidentally leave a scratch from his busted metal hands.
He's WAYY too overprotective, and he's aware of it, but he convinces himself that since it's for noble-ish reasons, then he's good. I mean, protecting people is his entire job, why would him wanting to defend you be viewed as unhealthy? He desperately tries to convince himself that he's completely in the right, even when that nagging feeling doesn't leave.
He'll try to convince you to live at the agency with him and Ellie. He might even manipulate Ellie into unknowingly helping him out in entrapping you. Having a second-friendly face might just do the trick.
If you happen to own a terminal then bro Is gonna hack it and use any information or logs to his advantage.
Nick has a tendency to just kinda reach out and grab your chin. He does it for multiple reasons: inspecting you for cuts, feeling your skin against him, or simply just making you look at him. He doesn't even realize how often he does it.
Being a detective for so long has made him incredible at reading people, and he especially likes to read you. Every slight jerk or reaction tells him everything he needs to know and he plays off of it so well.
He’s a little insecure due to him not being human. He knows he’s not your ideal type, and he wouldn’t make you be in a relationship with him, as long as you listen and let him protect you then he’s happy. (although, that wouldn't stop him from occasionally slaughtering others out of jealousy)
He’s always there to comfort your or aid in whatever quest you doing to the point that you become emotionally dependent on him.
Nick's probably the most understanding and reasonable yanderes on this list. He never wants you to be scared or alone like he was and his goal will mainly be to keep you happy, no matter what that would take.
It gets to the point where he doesn't want you going to anyone else when you're in distress and would find himself getting a little jealous if you did. He'll end up taking them out if it gets bad enough. You don't really need them that badly anyway, he knows so much more about you and can help you so much better.
"Believe me, doll, they aren't the person you think they are."
Hancock
He's got an eye for you the second you walk into Goodneighbor. He's always going to be lurking around, popping out of corners, and throwing his arm around your shoulders before butting into whatever conversation you were already having.
He has a habit of lacing the things you intake (stimpaks, water, food, etc.) with drugs so that he can take you up to the Old State House to 'take care of you'. It usually ends up being him clinging to you and begging you to stay because you're not in the right headspace, even when you're fully sober.
He'll start telling the people around town that he and you are a thing. Soon enough the guards are all keeping an eye out for you and will stop anyone who tries to hit on you.
He likes it better when you're reliant on him and will have people stage these incidents nearby to make you fearful of going out alone or at the very least more cautious so that he could swoop in and protect you more often
There were a few people who spoke out against what he seemed to be trying to do but they all kept disappearing and, eventually, people stopped questioning it.
Hancock is always going to be thinking about you. It comes to a point where even Farenheit is concerned about whether his crush is healthy or not and might even try to put an end to it as well. That being said, he wants you to be thinking about him just as much and would start slaughtering raiders in front of you so that you never forget him. It'll mostly just end up freaking you out because of how brutal it usually is, but that doesn't stop him.
His obsession gets worse and worse over time until it eventually drives him to do more drastic things like kidnapping you.
He'll manage to convince you that some raider gang has a hit out for you and he just wants to make sure you stay safe till it all boils over. Fahrenheit feels so bad for you as she's not sure what she should do. She just watches you tremble in the corner, knowing it's from Hancock injecting you with Med-X and instilling a false sense of danger into you.
You won't be completely stuck up in the Old State House, though, whenever he has to go somewhere or do something, he'll sometimes take you along. Only if you've been good for him. He likes to think of these times as dates because he tries to get to know you more and ask questions about your past and all that. He finds you really interesting and loves hearing you talk.
He'd love to spoil you with whatever you wanted. It could be something only found on the West coast and he'd still make the journey for you. It's not even funny how lovesick he is.
He gets kinda paranoid that you'd run away from him, so some nights he'll just tie you up, pull you into his lap, and shush your panicked sobs.
The good thing about Hancock is that he's not pushy when it comes to sex. He might flirt a lot and be kinda touchy, but he'd never dreamt of crossing any lines until you said you were ready. He'd wait till the end of time if he had to.
He'll try his best to keep you sheltered and away from the horrors happening outside. He wants to keep you as pure and ignorant as he possibly can. He thinks it's better that way.
As harsh as his actions can appear, he's actually really soft towards you. His touches are gentle, his voice is quiet, and his eyes are always full of adoration.
Friendly guy, just be careful what you mention to him. He has a habit of going batshit on people he deems wrong for you.
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every1sno1fangirl · 2 months ago
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Happy Hifuumo Friday everyone!
This post isn't late because anything bad happened, but simply because I lost track of time and what day of the week it was because I've been working. At least I have a lot of cool pictures to share though!
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Even if it took forever and the pay isn't as good, I'm incredibly glad to finally be working again; It's something I really liked doing and money in my pocket means I can get nicer things for myself and go on these trips without loitering somewhere.
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Work has been going good by the way; My boss happens to really like me and the work I've been doing and has really gone out of his way to help me out. Currently the schedule is 3pm-8pm Mondays through Wednesdays and 10am-3pm Saturday and Sunday. But I take the bus...
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And didn't really want to be on it so late. He noticed that and since he wants to move everyone to a 2pm-7pm schedule anyway, he told me that I can work those hours instead of losing one to leave at 7pm beforehand. I really appreciated that!
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I'm not really used to having a boss I don't have an antagonistic relationship with; I think the only thing he doesn't like about me is that I'm sometimes overly apologetic or grateful and it makes things awkward, which is a pretty big character flaw of mine.
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But he actually respects me and the effort I put into things, even when I'm not able to work because of my health conditions, which is always nice. Especially considering some of my co-workers who he had to publicly chastise (While not naming names) for faking the data.
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And speaking of getting paid; I was SO excited to see the notification that I got my first paycheck yesterday...only to realize that because of how the pay periods work, it was only for a single day of work, lol.
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But money is money, and I plan on using my first ~real~ paycheck on paying off some bills and getting a bike. It'll give me a lot more freedom getting to and from places, especially when the urge to do things like ordering Doordash strikes. (Not sure if it'll be electric though)
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It's something that has actually kept my family poor for a really long time that I hate, so I plan on getting the full works of a bicycle with saddlebags/cart to hold food and a little mount for my phone and hi-vis gear and everything. Not sure if it'll be electric though.
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Whenever we feel the urge to be lazy and order something, I'm at least going to go pick it up myself for the exercise and so we don't pay what is effectively an extra $15-20 for delivery even with DashPass which really adds up.
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And my mom is signed up for a financial literacy class now too. Things are looking up for Pen; I'm doing my best not to be a pessimist and just wait for the other shoe to drop. Until then though, I'm going to keep enjoying myself.
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I'm saving some money aside from my paychecks just to treat myself to something nice; I really like going to the movies, so I'll see if any are playing that I'd be interested in. I'd also like going to a bowling alley more regularly.
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Sadly where I live doesn't have a proper arcade nearby, or I'd be going to that too.
Either way, things are going good, and I hope things are going good for the people reading this too!
As always, I love you all, I hope you have a great day/night!
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greenerteacups · 1 year ago
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I power read Lionheart months ago and it's been living in my brain ever since. In random moments, I see/think about your characters in the world around me. Like: a couple in the park holding hands? I start musing on your Draco's PDA thoughts. I remember the handholding moment as the Third Task started. I see a threadbare book in the thrift store? I wonder how fired up Hermione would be if someone asked her if wizards had an obligation to fix Muggle goods. If Reparo can fix a roof (and costs a witch nothing), should impoverished Muggles have to fight with their insurance company after a storm? On and on. I love it.
Thanks for opening up your asks for questions! Seriously, that's a badass move. There have been a few stressful moments in my life where--bing!--I check Tumblr and read one of your answers and I'm immersed in your HP world again, carefree and curious. <3
I have about a billion things I could ask/am curious about, but I'll restrain myself to two. This time. ;-)
Draco's mentioned once or twice that Harry & Ron don't understand him and Hermione. I was interested in that moment right before Draco follows Hermione to the Owlery. Harry stopped Ron from saying anything, and Draco recognizes that he's probably just as ignorant about Harry and Ron's friendship. So: 1) Is it too spoilery to ask what Harry (dear, sweet boy that he is) has noticed about Hermione & Draco? Does he think of them as one nerdbrain, or is he like Draco? Hermione? Weren't they married like, ages ago? I'm so fascinated by what others see when they look at Draco and Hermione because good GOD, what a power couple. And 2) Could you speak to Harry and Ron's relationship? Is Harry like, "Ron, you've gotta kill that Hermione pipedream," or is that topic irrelevant in the face of Quidditch gossip and less relationship-driven moments? Their (Harry and Ron) connection just seems so...necessary. It's beautiful.
I hope you're doing well! Thanks again for sharing such an immersive, gripping story with us.
Aw, this is so touching, thank you! I'll try to answer your questions as best I can without spoilers or breaching any rules on author-answer-ethics. Standard disclaimers: anything not in the text doesn't count, if I want you to believe something I have to give you a reason to believe it in the body of the fiction itself, and you're free to disagree with anything I say here. For the purposes of these types of questions, I'm basically just a fan who knows what the author had for breakfast this morning.
Harry knows that Hermione and Draco are... something. I think this comes through most in the arc of Book 4 where Ron separates from the group, and it becomes a tricycle of Draco, Hermione, and Harry. Harry is miserable, and it's not just because Ron leaves (although that's a large part of it); he's now in the position that Hermione occupies for most of the original series, where he understands very clearly that his other two friends, while both loving him very much, are First in each other's minds. He has a number of remarks that start to show his irritation with this, though he tries his best to be understanding — it is a similar dynamic to him and Ron, after all. (Fun story: I didn't realize until late in my drafting how much Hermione and Draco's dynamic echoes Harry and Ron in canon, from meeting on the train, the paying-for-candy moment, the Sorting, the class partnership, etc.)
All this to say that Harry looks at Hermione and Draco and sees a wall, in the same way that Draco looks at Harry and Ron and sees a wall. He doesn't understand it, but he knows that's deep water, and he knows he's usually better off not touching it. (Some of this comes through in Ron's conversation with Draco by the pumpkin patch; there's a blink-and-you-miss-it reference to "whatever the hell you and Hermione have got going on," along with a quick gloss on their weird pseudo-spiritual mind-meld connection, which was meant to give a glimpse into how the rest of Gryffindor sees them: eerily well-suited people with separately terrifying abilities who, when together, sail merrily off into their own universe of intelligence/plots-and-schemery and become a black hole of You Don't Want To Fucking Know. I sometimes amuse myself by thinking of Dean and Seamus giving the first years PSAs on Do Not Approach the Wild Swots In Action.) And he, like most of Gryffindor Tower, would have to be blind not to see how much they favor each other. They're always together. There's really nothing that they can do to hide it.
Which is probably why he pulls Ron back in the Owlery moment. He understands that what Hermione is dealing with is something that Draco, perhaps only Draco, can fix. She needs to hear a very specific kind of reassurance, and she needs to hear it from him. In the same way, when Hermione tried to calm Harry down before the plan to rescue Sirius in the third book, she failed miserably; they love each other intensely (they're siblings! the muggle-born twins!) but they're extremely different, and of all the Quartet dynamics, they're the ones who seem most at peace with that. Harry and Hermione's friendship works because they get what the other needs and they get that sometimes it's not them. (Harry more than Hermione, because she's still working on the concept of "sometimes people do not want my help" in general, but still.) There's a reason basically no one ever speculates about them being involved outside of a joke, because no one who knows them would think they could work romantically. They love each other, but they weird each other out, and they're content with that.
In contrast, Ron and Harry's friendship is more of the soul-bonded, life-partners, "he is more myself than I am" kind of friendship. Catherine and Heathcliff dig-up-the-corpse-to-lie-down-with-it type of shit. When Ron gets a death scare in the finale of Book 3, Harry goes fucking ballistic. Likewise with Harry's portkey fakeout in the end of Book 4 — Ron loses his shit. They are deeply, irrevocably attached to each other in an almost codependent way, which is the product of Harry's "first friend ever, like literally fucking ever, not nobody else, not one" situation meeting Ron's "first person who ever loved me as Ron and not so-and-so's brother" situation. So just as you put it, really: necessary and beautiful (and messy).
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monsterfuckertw · 2 years ago
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⚡Glamrock Freddy with a S/O who has ADHD⚡
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Hi, so we meet again(?
Surprisingly my first writing for Tumblr reached a lot of people, it wasn't a boom, but it's more people than I expected, so here we are, I'm going to drop a few headcanons that I have of Glamrock Freddy with a S/O who has ADHD, because long live the self-projection
Warning because idk, it's cool remember this: These are my headcanons, emphasis in MY headcanons, If you don't see these characters acting a certain way, that's cool, I'm not writing this to affect your vision of the character, I'm writing this to entertain
Oh and before i forget to mention, english isn't my native language, so if something isn't understood in the text, please let me know, thanks and i hope you like it<3
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🐻.– He knows what ADHD is, but he has a general notion of what it is, he doesn't really know how affects people or how to help you
🐻.– Poor bear, he would be so confused, but he would stay by your side, he really wants to help you (even if he doesn't know what to do)
🐻.– Freddy would start doing a lot of research for you, he wants you to feel comfortable and if he wants to achieve that, he must learn how to do it and have information that helps
🐻.–Freddy could STOP and CANCEL a performance, if he sees that the noise of the music is affecting you, he would take you to a calmer place and check that everything is okay, that your ears don't hurt and that you're not dazed
🐻.–Several times it happens that you tell him something interesting that happened to you, and he has to remind you what you were saying to continue the story; because there are many tangents you go off on before properly finishing the story. That doesn't really bother Freddy, but he wants to know how it ends and he can't know until you finish telling him, with tangents and everything
🐻.– It also happens a lot, that you two are talking quietly and you look everywhere and you have your gaze fixed on the other thing you saw, and you ask yourself a lot of questions, the color, the shape, where it was made, whatever, you start to ramble, Freddy notices this and calls you, you quickly turn your gaze towards him. You apologize instantly, cause now he will have to repeat what he was saying, but Freddy completely understands and doesn't get mad at you, he knows you're not doing it on purpose, it's something unconscious that you can't control
🐻.– Sometimes you two are walking next to a window and at one point Freddy stops to look to the side. And he realizes that you stayed enjoying the view, contemplating the sky, it almost gave him a heart attack to see you so beautiful, mesmerized by the night sky and a look of wonder on your face. You noticed that he was looking at you and you started beckoning him to join you, Freddy follows your orders and you two stay admiring the starry sky
🐻.– He is so patient with you, even if you forget important things he told you, you lose things, even if you are late for dates because you lose track of time, he would reassure you it was ok
🐻.– As a consequence, for the next time, he begins to leave you notes and reminders of things you had pending, tasks and more. And he also gives you reminders of things that you have slope as a couple, like dates
🐻.– Do you have any hyperfixation? He will be all ears, he loves to see you so excited when you talk about something that interests you, he would even look for information to talk to you about it
🐻.– Generally asks before he touches you
🐻.– Keeps objects with the textures you like in his room, so you can relax with him after a long day
🐻.–If you don't feel like doing anything but procrastinating, Freddy supports you, get ready because that night you won't do anything but receive bear hugs, kisses, caresses and compliments, You don't want to do anything? Well, he won't do anything too with you
🐻.– He worries that you eat well, every time he sees you he comes with a snack because he knows you forgot, he doesn't want you to have a disorganized meal schedule. The same with your sleeping schedule, drinking water, etc
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soundbord · 2 months ago
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this took a lil longer than i wanted to but... here is milo's intro !
                                   the basics.
NAME: milo mendoza
AGE: twenty six
GENDER: nonbinary
PRONOUNS: he/they
ZODIAC: pisces sun, libra moon, sag rising
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual
TV TROPES: not in front of the kid, brilliant but lazy, used to be a sweet kid, the charmer, getting high on their own supply
                                    about.
parentified to the max. milo's parents never really raised him, he knew that. they gave him just what he needed to survive and plopped him in front of a tv. they knew exactly why they turned out the way they did; why they didn't learn to floss or tie their shoes until embarrassingly late in life. moving forward, milo made sure their siblings didn't have those same problems. they'd eat consistently and as healthy as a preteen could get access to, they'd have hobbies and join clubs, they'd be taken to school on time even if it meant him missing school instead. he's proud, honestly, to have his siblings be as cool as they turned out. the two oldest starting college, over five years younger and about as close to graduation as he was. it wasn't about his future anyway, it was always about theirs.
fashion, piercings, and tattoos quickly became his thing once he was old enough to realize everyone was already judging him by the integrity of his shoe soles. it felt good to be able to customize his avatar, look however he wanted loudly in the view of judgmental eyes. when he figured out how easy it was to bleach and dye short hair, it was over to them.
milo's always been big on music. any genre, you name it, he's collected what he believes to be the masterpieces within them. from electronic to rock to big booming movie scores, he is never without something to listen to. might be the only person in this world who doesn't get in music slumps.
they should just drop out. they know that at this rate they may never graduate, but something about the concept of college, an acceptable inbetween, makes them feel like they aren't completely wasting their life away. when old teachers back at their hometown ask what they're doing nowadays, they can say they're at university, and there's no pitying looks. so, yeah, they're sort of blowing a lot of money for a degree they don't know they'll ever get, but maybe after enough years it'll all fall into place. it seems to for everyone else by the time they walk the stage, at least.
it wasnt a hard decision when he started selling. there was a demand, he needed money, and it wasnt like it would be a shock to anyone. milo liked the connections that being a dealer made for him. and yeah, maybe he is a bit too soft, a bit too sweet, but he genuinely believes hes formed a lot of friendships from this. (take luke sinclair, for example, who milo still wants gone from his memory and brushes off whenever he comes up. it's easier to live with the loss that way) the community that forms around you when you have something that people want is unbelievable. in a few short months he went from having a handful of friends to being beloved. the attention is addicting. almost as addicting as what was always going to come next when you give someone like him access to copious amounts of drugs.
i had nowhere else to put this so here's a big vibe shift. milo's current dnd character is a lightfoot halfling wizard girl named xanthe dunn. unlike milo, xanthe is a well off, cunning, and scholarly girl. her personality is very similar to hermione from you know what.
                                   a look inside.
mannerisms.
FACE: one look at milo's expressions will tell you all you need to know about how they’re feeling. they have a tendency to overexaggerate reactions. but, this is just the conscious expression, things taught from raising young children and wanting to help them better emote. when he wants to hide things, he can easily behind a smile
HANDS:  he isn't a big hand talker, surprisingly. milo's usually preoccupied, fidgeting with a zipper or a lighter in his pocket as he talks or has to pay attention to anything.
LEGS/FEET: they're always in some sort of lounging state. milo's feet are constantly propped up somewhere. 
EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: hasn't happened in a few years, since getting into a fight with his sister's boyfriend over one christmas trip. usually, he can keep things in check. even arguments he has to slip some humor in to show he isn't emotionally affected, but when it does happen...
HABITS: chronic napper i fear. he can and will sleep anywhere, no matter who's around or what is happening.
POSTURE: oh, it is dreadful. just the worst. 
personal.
INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: milo is an extrovert when their energy is matched, but they struggle to speak to people who are more introverted. often they just try to avoid pushing and seeming too overbearing
OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: they've never been an optimist, but milo won't admit that. at least at face value looking at everything in a sort of glass half full way can help with morale, even if he doesn't believe it himself. he's especially pessimistic about this luke business (milo has from the start believed that luke is dead) but will only admit to it in ways that can seem like he's kidding... just incase it makes their friends sad
INSECURITIES: the volume of their voice is a big insecurity. milo had always been an excitable kid, and was always the one being shushed. worst was when people would cringe while he talks, indicating to tone it down. since, he's tried to take on a more laidback persona, voice lazy and low. still, whenever they're excited they have their moments.
relationships.
FAMILY: empathy win! your messy stoner brother who wears the same beat up old jacket everyday is a girl dad! of milo's 5 younger siblings, 4 of them are girls. he's been sewing, weaving perfect plaits, and patting pink blush on cheeks for years now. it's a strange picture, seeing them all piled into his beat up old car. his younger brother, not a smudge on his eyeglasses and hair perfectly parted down the middle, the girls in a rainbow of club uniforms ranging from cheer to band, and milo in a stained white tank, swatches of liquid lipsticks lined neatly on his forearm. their parents are another story entirely. milo keeps their cool as much as possible, but when they visit home from school to find their older siblings taking care of the littles instead of the parents, that anger threatens to spill out. he keeps his composure, pays his share of the rent, and doesn't say a word to his parents.
FRIENDSHIPS: connection is the single most important thing for milo. friendship is where he gets to have fun, drop the responsible attitude he has to keep at home and just do things because he wants to, despite the consequences. this leads to him being a bad influence more often than not, and at worst a nuisance. 
LOVE: from one failed relationship to another, milo never considered love very much. that was, until things started getting serious with camille. their relationship exists in a pocket universe separate from real world things like family. upgrading from a hookup situation to a full blown relationship was a big step, and somehow felt more important to take care of than every other relationship where he had been careless. they're a pathetic wife guy deep down, even though on the surface they just seem sort of toxic. milo does what he can to be a good partner, but they're a tactless mess, and often find themselves ruining things. with this recent breakup, they've upped the pathetic by a thousand. it's why they're even joining along on this project; to spend time together, try and repair their relationship.
                                   & luke
BAD INFLUENCE : the king of letting loose, milo seemed like the only person luke could truly lower his walls around. with him, there were no ulterior motives or potential for scandal. the two could simply chill. but smoking cigarettes became smoking weed, & that turned into shrooms which then became pill-popping. while milo was opening luke’s eyes to the wonderful world of recreational drug abuse, luke was single-handedly funding milo’s deadbeat lifestyle.
THE SECRET : late into the night, hours after he’d disappeared into the woods, milo found luke. the two talked for a while . . . smoked a little. only, milo had been cutting corners & settling on cheaper products to better afford the comfortable lifestyle he’d become accustomed to on luke’s coin. at some point he must’ve fallen asleep because, when he awoke, luke was gone — as was the remainder of his ( laced ) drugs.
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jitterbugjive · 8 months ago
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I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.
especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)
It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.
Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.
I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.
People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".
Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?
I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.
I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.
I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person
And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter
I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.
And I don't know if this will ever go away
I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.
I hate this shit so much.
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freefallintothevoid · 7 months ago
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I'm so freaking tired of seeing the same handful of tropes and storylines in isekai because it often boils down to: regular guy ends up in fantasy world and immediately gets a) op cheat skill. b)healing magic. or c) the ability to punch/use a sword really well. Regular guy runs around the fantasy world alone at first because hes been abandoned or accused of a crime he didnt commit, completely oblivious to the harem of very diverse but ultimately the same hot women he's building along the way. Regular guy is also weirdly fine with medieval fantasy slavery, discrimination and thinks he's edgy and cool just because he's being kind of an asshole.
so here are a bunch of story ideas that I came up with.
1. When a reasonable adult discovereds that rhe Chosen One (who they didn't even want to summon anyways) is a teenager, they proceed to just defeat the evil threat themselves and adopt the teenager in the process while figuring out how to send the poor kid back home
2. MC doesn't realize he's got a harem because he's very gay for a side character/villain
3. The Villain and the Hero are stuck in a timeloop that resets to the day when the Hero is summoned. This is because during the first loop there was a prophecy that was subverted by summoning the Hero to change the worlds fate. Now they are stuck in an eternal loop until the prophecy is fulfilled.
4. The summoned 'Hero' isn't granted op power upon arrival to the fantasy world. Instead they are the latest in a long line of the kingdoms failed attempts at creating a living superweapon to defeat the Villain via winter soldier style human experimentation. The villain could even be the original experiment that escaped.
5. Instead of the MC being a regular human tossed into a fantasy world with 237 different magic races, they're a non-human tossed into a fantasy world with way less variety. They might not even have other members of their race in the new world, making them unique in that way. Allows a more indepth look at fantasy discrimination and racism and could create some interesting world building implications.
6. The fantasy world and modern world are universe counterparts. Doppelganger shenanigans.
7. The Chosen One is summoned decades or even centuries before they're actually needed to save the world.
8. MCs freshly departed spirit slips through a crack between worlds into the fantasy world. Ghost shenanigans. The reason they decide to seek power and learn magic is because they want to become strong enough to be seen again by other people.
9. MC comes from another fantasy world with a magic system that no longer works at all. They have to learn the new worlds magic system in order to be able to do magic again.
10. MC is reborn into another world because their worlds deity hates them and because they don't want to deal with MC anymore, they just decide make the MC another world's problem.
11. The summoning ritual gets hijacked.
12. MC is summoned from a distant point in time rather than from another world.
13. MC is actually the deity in disguise because they couldn't find a suitable person to isekai.
14. MC is a highly successful Chosen One, to the point where they offer up their services as a Hero to desperate gods who want to save their world/chose the wrong person to be the Hero and need to fix it before its too late.
15. Instead of just joining a guild, the reincarnated MC builds one and becomes the Guildmaster.
16. The MCs modern opinions on slavery, the class system, sexism and equality in general lead to them kickstarting the fantasy french revolution.
17. MC actually liked their life in the modern world. They had a good family, healthy friend group, worked their dream job and all that other happy jazz. They really don't want to be adventuring in a fantasy world -their entire goal is getting back home.
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yanderelovlies · 1 year ago
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So I've been playing this game called "The Tale of Food". The title might sound silly or odd, but it's a good Gatcha game.
You play as the Master of Kongsang (male or female) who, after a defeat from an unknown enemy, sets out to gather all the lost soul foods to bring peace back to Kongsang.
The game is only a few months old, but I've grown to really like it. It think later down the line, they are gonna make a romance aspect, but as it stands right now, it's more Fire Embelm Heros. Though it does have a little bit of Genshin aspects such as unlocked voice lines and background story, the higher the heart level you have with them. They are also starting to release costumes for characters.
However, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because 1. I love sharing my interests with everyone. 2. This man right here
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His name is Shredded Jerky (I don't think the food souls have actually names), and not only his he is my favorite character, but he has Yandere potential.
He is a shadow puppeteer whose puppets seem to be alive. They don't speak, but show an aray of emotions with their actions. He says he is the one controlling them, but I think that's only part truth.
My theory is that his puppets are souls of people he has met. I'm not sure if he tricked them or their life was coming to an end, and they wanted to continue living. So he turned them into one of his shadow puppets that he travels and performs with.
Now hear me out. If he was Yandere, he wouldnt have a problem Turing people he doesn't like into puppets. Not only does it increase the puppets he has. but it's to keep you safe. The way that man was looking at you? He couldn't take chances. He is also very good at hiding it. You would realize people around started disappearing left and right until it was too late.
He would charm you with his silver tougne so you would never see him as a danger. Only as a good friend or possibly more. If you were close to your family, he wouldn't harm them. Just use his charm to keep you away.
"Oh, love It's dangerous to travel so far. With all the rampant corrupted food souls. How about we stay in here and enjoy each other's company instead, hm? Look, I even got a new puppet."
He is also a very touch starved. Before he met you, he kept everyone at arms length. He felt he couldn't afford attachment till he met you. Now he wants all your willing to give, and can't get enough of it.
.
anyway 👀 that is my thoughts and opinions. I would love to talk about it more if anyone is interested. Also! if you decided to pick up the game, let me know! we can add each other!
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multifandomwriter56 · 1 year ago
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His Little Spy: The Painful Truth
A/N: Here is Part Two
Series Summary: Anita Edwards is a spy who works for Tommy Shelby. She is an orphan and longs for a family. Will Tommy ever realize she is his daughter, despite them not being blood? Or will he lose her forever?
Chapter 2 Summary: Anita recovers at Polly's and thinks back to how she became Thomas Shelby's spy.
Characters: Tommy Shelby, OC, a few minor OC's, Polly Gray, mentioned other main characters from the series
Warnings: language, mentions child abuse, short scene with child abuse
Word Count: 2,483
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"Polly, are you sure? I can stay at the Institution like Mr Shelby wanted me to."
Polly guides the eleven year old up the stairs, rolling her eyes. "Don't worry, Anita, Tommy is not cross with you for staying with me." She opens the door to one of her many spare bedrooms. "And if you ask me one more time if I'm sure about you staying with me, I'll give you a clip over the ear."
Anita smiles softly at the threat, knowing the older woman would do it in a heartbeat. 
“Now, lie down. You need to rest. I’ll leave you some breakfast in the morning.”
“Why won’t you be here?”
“Tommy and I have a meeting with Mother Superior early in the morning.” Polly says darkly; not even trying to hide her hatred for the woman. 
Anita swallows her apology for causing them problems. She has a feeling Polly doesn't want to hear it. “I can make me own breakfast. You don’t have to worry about it.” 
“I’m sure you can; but your only concern tomorrow is to rest. You will stay in this house until I feel you are healed enough to wander. Understood?”
“Yes, Polly.” 
“Good.” Polly smiles at the young girl. She doesn’t know when this young girl climbed into her heart; but she’s family now. If only she knew that. “Get some sleep.”
“What the bloody hell happened to you?”
Anita does as she was told; closing her eyes as Polly closes the door. Instead of dreaming though, her mind thinks back to when she started working for the Shelby business.
Anita ignores the boy, as she tries to hide her black eye with her hair. 
“Your uncle?”
“Fuck off, George. I’m fine.”
The boy is surprised to hear Anita talk that way. She’s usually quiet and timid. The girl always says it’s better to observe than talk. He’s not sure he agrees, but she helps him with his numbers and lets him talk as much as he wants; so he keeps walking her to and from school.
“Anita Edwards, where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
George watches as his friend’s whole body tenses. He whispers for them to run; but she ignores him.
“I’m going to school!” Anita shouts back as she turns around to face her abuser. 
“I don’t remember saying you could go today.” He growls as he steps closer to the two nine year olds.
“I have to go to school. I was gone all last week; they’ll get suspicious. Just trying to save your arse.” She spits out the last word just as her uncle stands in front of her. The slap is expected, so Anita is able to stop herself from falling to the ground. 
“Don’t hit her, you bastard!” George charges at the man, swinging his fists.
“George, no!” Anita steps forward to stop her friend, but she’s too late. Her uncle doesn’t even hesitate to punch the boy, knocking him out cold. “George!” She glares up at her living nightmare. “You prick! Why would you-” She’s cut off from him shoving her into the wall, knocking the breath out of her. 
“Oi! What the fuck is going on here?”
Anita tries to blink away the black dots blinding her vision. That voice is so familiar; but she’s not sure where she’s heard it from. 
“Get the fuck off of her.” 
She hears some rustling as the man manhandles her uncle away from her. When the man calls her name, she tries to focus on him but the black dots are still there. Wait, how does this man know her name?
“Anita, love; come on, look at me. Stay with me.”
Finally the black dots are gone and her eyes focus on the concerned, blue ones. 
“There you go. Good girl, good girl. That’s it.”
“Mr Shelby?” There’s no way that’s the Thomas Shelby. Why would he concern himself with her? They barely even know each other. 
Anita used to play with John’s kids when they still lived in Birmingham; but since John’s death and Esme took off with their kids, Anita doesn’t see the Shelby’s regularly; only when she sees them pass by on the streets of Small Heath. 
“Yeah, that’s right. It’s Tommy.” Tommy never understood why; but this kid he’s only been around a handful of times always calls him Mr Shelby. Which seems normal to anyone; but she is on a first name bases with the rest of his family. “Can you stand?”
Anita ignores his question as she tries to look over the gangster’s shoulder. “Where’s George? Is he okay? I need to see him.”
Tommy gently but firmly places his hands on her shoulders. “He’s still out cold. I will help him once I know you can walk and you have no broken bones.”
The young girl thought about fighting him; but she knew from observing the family that she would definitely lose that fight. The only thing she would accomplish is taking time away from George. So she nods her head before slowly pushing herself up. 
Tommy relaxes slightly when she complies. His hands move from her shoulders to her elbows. He keeps them there even when she’s standing straight. He doesn’t remove them until she takes about six steps. As soon as he releases her, she heads straight to the young boy. He follows. 
When he sees Arthur and Finn round the corner; he motions with his hand for them to come over. 
“What the hell, Tom?” Arthur questions, his eyes roaming over the man knocked out on the ground.
“Take Mr. Edwards to Moss and tell him to lock him up. Let him know I’ll explain everything when I have a chance.”
His brothers grab the man; but Arthur stops when he sees the two children. “Did he do that?” At Tommy’s nod; he drops the man, head first. “Whoops, hands are a little slippery.”
Tommy watches them until they turn the corner from where they arrived. He focuses back on the children, sighing in relief when he sees the young boy awake. “Can you walk, son?”
“I think so, Mr Shelby.”
He watches as Anita helps the boy, George he thinks, stand to his feet. He gently tilts the boy’s head upwards so he can look at his pupils. The kid definitely has a concussion. “Can you walk yourself home, George?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Tell your father what happened and if he has any questions, he can come to me.” Tommy orders as he pulls out his lighter and cigarette case. 
“I want to go with him. Someone needs to make sure he makes it home.” Anita states. 
Tommy stays quiet as he lights his cigarette. Once the lighter and case is back in his pocket, he speaks. “You, Miss Edwards, are coming with me. We need to have a little talk.” He knows he looks and sounds intimidating. He also knows he doesn’t really need to. One thing he remembered about Anita was that she’s always been a good kid. She was a good influence on John’s kids. 
She just seems to get caught up in bad situations. 
Anita thought about arguing but she decided against it. Mr Shelby had saved her life; she has no doubt her uncle would have killed her this time.
“I’m fine, Anita. I can walk meself home.” He wraps his arms around her in a quick hug before letting go. “Thank you, Mr Shelby.” At Tommy’s nod, George heads home. 
Anita watches her friend, much like Tommy did with his brothers before forcing herself to look at the businessman. 
Tommy takes a drag before nodding in the general direction where #6 Watery Lane is. “Come on.”
Tommy opens the door to his past home, stepping to the side to allow her to go in first. She does, stopping at a table. She waits for him to speak first.
The nine year old follows closely behind the man; keeping her eyes on his long black coat. She rather not see everyone staring at them as they pass by. She knows they’re wondering what Thomas Shelby wants with a child. 
She's wondering that as well.
“Your parents died when you were younger, correct?” Tommy asks as he flicks the cigarette butt into the fire.
Anita nods her head. “Dad died in the war. Mom died from consumption.”
“Do you have any other family besides your uncle?” When she shakes her head; Tommy decides he needs another cigarette. “When was the last time you had a meal?”
She’d rather not answer the question, so she just shrugs her shoulders. 
The small action tells Tommy everything. “After you eat, I will take you to the Grace Shelby Institution. You’ll be safe there.”
“Can I stay at the St. Hilda's?” When Tommy frowns, Anita quickly assures him. “I mean no disrespect, Mr Shelby. I stayed there for a couple of months when my mother passed before my uncle took me in. Most of my friends live there. I really am grateful for your help.” She adds the last bit, hoping she didn’t offend the man.
Tommy’s not sure he likes the idea of Anita going somewhere he doesn’t control; but he wants the kid to be happy. She deserves that much. Even though his gut is telling him to say no, his mouth says yes. Some of his concern dies when the girl smiles for the first time since he found her. 
“I’ll see if Pol can-”
“If you’ll just show me where the food is, I can make myself something. I’d rather not be more of a bother than I already am.” Anita ignores the disapproving frown directed at her. She has a feeling he didn’t like her interrupting him. “Is there any way I can repay you, Mr Shelby?”
Tommy exhales, letting the smoke free from his mouth. “There’s no need for that. Just stay out of trouble and stay in school.”
Anita nods but silently disagrees with him. She could be helpful if the man let her. “I’m good with numbers; and I can read faster than anyone my age.”
“Anita.” Tommy warns, his voice deepening. “I said no.”
She turns her back towards him as she opens one of the cabinets, looking for food. “Yes, sir.” She mumbles.
Tommy may not know the nine year old all that well; but he can tell by her tone that she’s going to completely ignore him. 
Once he listened to everything she had learnt; Tommy agreed to let her be his spy. He didn’t admit it out loud; but Anita knew he was impressed.
Anita wakes up, the memory still playing in her head. She sure as hell ignored him. When she wasn’t in school and she could sneak away from the sisters, she would spy on Tommy’s rivals, his own men, and anyone who posed a threat to the Shelby’s. She would even help Lizzie with the baby and watch Charlie for her.
During one of the times she was at Arrow House helping Lizzie, Tommy surprised them by coming home early. He immediately started interrogating her and she admitted to everything. Tommy hadn’t been happy at first, but Lizzie helped convince him that Anita was not only helping her, but him as well. 
* * *
Anita had done as she was told. She ate the food Polly saved for her and took the medication she had laid next to the plate. She found a book and laid on the couch reading. It was two hours past noon when she couldn’t handle the boredom anymore. She may be mature for her age; but she is, in fact, an eleven year old girl. 
She slips on her shoes, tying the lace before heading for the door. She opens it, jumping when she’s met not with a view of the streets but of one Tommy Shelby.
“Anita, are you sneaking out?” He asks her, the lit cigarette wobbling up and down in between his lips.
Knowing she was caught red-handed, she shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe.” She mumbles as she steps backwards so the gangster can step inside. 
Tommy grins, stepping inside his aunt’s home. “And what is out there that is worth risking a scolding from Pol, eh?”
Sensing the man isn’t upset with her, she answers bluntly. “Fun. People.” Her eyes widened, pleading with the man. “I’m bored, Mr Shelby. I can’t sleep anymore. I’ve finished two books. There’s nothing else to do.”
“I understand, love; but you’re here to rest. Once you’re healed enough that you don’t wince with each movement, you’ll go to one of my institutions where you can act your age all you want.” 
“Oh.” Is the only thing Anita can say. She thought she was staying with Polly until she became of age. Polly made it sound like she wasn’t leaving any time soon. How could she be so stupid? Why would anyone want her, let alone the Shelby family? “Right. I know. I’m sorry for complaining. I really am grateful for what you did.”
Tommy frowns. What just happened? What happened to her playful attitude? “Anita, what’s wr-”
“Nothing.” She answers why too quickly, silently scolding herself for saying anything at all. “What are you doing here anyways? Don’t you have a meeting in London in-.” She looks at the clock behind her. “An hour?” 
The smirk is back. “I see someone has been reading my diary again.” He shakes his head fondly when the girl blushes and looks down at her feet. Instead of scolding her for it, he pulls out a small bag from his coat pocket. “I brought you some food. You need to eat.”
The young girl’s cheeks turn a darker red. “I made some food around noon.” She admits, hoping Polly didn’t tell Tommy she was supposed to wait for someone to bring food to her. 
Tommy chuckles this time, shaking his head. “I’ll make a deal with you. I won’t tell Polly you cooked your own lunch if you don’t tell her I was two hours late. Deal?”
Anita grins. “Deal.” 
Tommy stays with her for about an hour. He told her his meeting in London was rescheduled for tomorrow.
The two of them mostly sat in silence; him reading over some papers he was picking up for said meeting and Anita looking over the books (the legal ones) that Tommy had in his briefcase. She wants the practice and Tommy sees no harm in letting her learn. 
She talked the older man into splitting the food Polly made so she can say with confidence that she ate the food.
Tommy leaves, growling a lighthearted but still serious “Behave” over his shoulder before shutting the door; leaving Anita alone once again.
Now alone with her thoughts, Anita thinks about his words. Maybe she should leave Birmingham. In truth, it would be easier for everyone if she was out of their lives for good. Right?
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